Looks too good to pass up:



Click the image to watch "I think"--"NO YOU DON'T!", a 
Hannity & Colmes + Miller cartoon from Spike TV's This Just In.
(Scroll down and click appropriate link.)


NEWSFLASH!  Dennis Miller Jailed as Saddam Hussein Double!


photo from www.deadbrain.com

Dennis Miller was unceremoniously frog-marched out of the CNBC studios today and led into a waiting FBI marked van. 
Previously sealed grand jury charges against Miller were simultaneously released to the press.

The principal charge against Miller was that he acted as a Saddam double after his stint on NBC's Saturday Night Live, 
but before his work on ABC's Monday Night Football. A then-embittered Miller had agreed to emulate Hussein in a 
gray bearded, bushy-eyebrowed version that Hussein used before the US invaded Iraq.

"I was young. I needed the money," mumbled Miller.
See rest of article here.


International Dennis Miller Meet-Up Day! Fourth Wednesday of every month!
Go here!

Dennis Miller's official website is partly awake!
Start here and explore!

The URL is supposed to be http://www.officialdennismiller.com/,
but that doesn't seem to be working right now.
 
So look here for a preview and here at the message boards
--if those ever get working again!

(In true obsessed-fan fashion, my entry in the sample MB is the first!  
Or it was until the sample MB was wiped out, 
and the regular MB is not yet running!)

Oh, well.  Welcome to The Net, Dennis!


BTW, if you want to write to Dennis or to CNBC, 
here are some addresses:

Dennis Miller
c/o CNBC
Dennis Miller Show
3000 West Alameda Avenue
Burbank, CA  91523
dennismillershow@nbc.com

CNBC 
2200 Fletcher Avenue 
Fort Lee, NJ 07024 
Phone: 201-585-2622
info@CNBC.com


To write to the keeper of this website:
mnl_1221@yahoo.com





View My Guestbook

Sign My Guestbook








This website is now split into four different pages.

Click on Open Letters to Dennis Miller to read others' letters.
Click on Miller the Muse for fanfic, cartoons, poems, etc. (by me and others).
Click on The Attic for Miller news and features of the recent past.

****
HOW DO YOU LIKE YOUR BIRTHDAY PRESENT?--11/3/04

Happy 51st Birthday, Dennis!  Yes, your gift was a little slow in delivery,
but it finally came through mid-morning EST.  Congratulations: I'm sure you
worked hard to bring it about, as I worked hard to try to stop it.

BTW, here's an extra present for you:



a 2004 version of the Patriotic Jester costume that you inspired last year.

I haven't paid much attention to you these past months because I've been busy with another website:

Christians for Kerry/Christians against Bush

A few new pieces of Den-mail have come in the meantime, and I'll post them soon.
Now you go celebrate, while I go off to lick my wounds.

P.S. Remember, you barely got this present.  Don't gloat.

****
MAD-LY YOURS--8/11/04

The current MAD Magazine, #445 September 2004, has Chris Rock on the cover 
and its feature article inside, "MAD's 50 Worst Things about...Comedy"
(written by Scott Maiko):

41. We don't want to get off on a rant here, but isn't it sad
that Dennis Miller's done a gear-stripping 180-degree turn 
from "How deliciously obscure and outrageous can I make this 
reference?" to "The hell with smarmy wit--how blatantly can I
kiss President Bush's @$$?" 

8.  Comedians who squeeze more money and mileage out of the 
same tired standup routines they've been performing for decades
by printing them in an overpriced book, minus the attitude and
timing, thereby rendering them even less funny.
[with illustrations by Herman Mejia of Jerry Seinfeld's Sein 
Language, Dennis Miller's The Rant Zone, and George Carlin's 
Napalm and Silly Putty]

BTW, here's some more Den-mail:

Date: Tue, 10 Aug 2004 18:42:47 -0700 
Subject: DM-Tues., 8/10/04 
    
Mr. Miller,

Great show but no more crippled pet segments; bad Dennis, bad, 
go to your house (and quit telling us where your house is).

Dave

     
****
DENNIS ADMITS IT: LIBERALS "DO GOOD"!--8/4/04

During his appearance last night on Jay Leno's show, Miller launched
into a diatribe about how Governor Ahnold was right about the 
California Democrats being "girly men", and then Miller said 
something about "do-good liberal men".

"Do-good liberal men"?  What's wrong with doing good?

I got to thinking: this may boil down to "doing good" versus "kicking
a$$".  Dennis Miller does not want a president, nor a governor, who
"does good", but one who "kicks butt".  Doing good is too feminine,
too girly, too liberal.  Never mind if doing good is moral or just or
Christlike--and doesn't GWB claim to be a Christian?  I'm not saying
Jesus never "kicked butt"--think of his harsh words to the Pharisees,
his chasing the moneychangers out of the temple.  But Jesus, who
spent more time doing good, saved his kick-butt moments for the
exploiters, the self-righteous, the oppressors.  Jesus never kicked
the butt of the outcasts, the marginalized, the oppressed, or even
tax collectors like Matthew and Zaccheus.  

Despite GWB's claim to have higher moral values than Democrats, 
liberals, or Hollywood celebrities, I suspect that what attracts
him and Miller to each other is the desire for "kick-a$$" machoism.

BTW, Miller's comments on Leno last night got into the Whoopi-ish
nether regions: a joke about someone firing a gun into his privates
and becoming "half-c**ked" (Dennis said the word), and Dennis defying
the FCC with "Don't intercourse with me!"

But I give Miller credit for one thing: he was glad that Ken Lay had
been indicted and hoped that Ken's nickname in jail would become
"Mr. Lay".  Now Ken Lay, to my knowledge, is one of GWB's heftiest
supporters and closest allies.  Perhaps Miller hasn't lost all his
moral courage after all.

****
A DEATH IN THE "FAMILY"--8/3/04

Thomas M. Heighway, a cancer victim who e-mailed this website last
year with his objection to Dennis Miller's anti-environmental stand,
has since succumbed to leukemia--specifically, to complications 
during a bone marrow transplant.  His daughter, Danielle, wrote to me
about an upcoming event, a 5K memorial run\walk in Glen Ellyn,  
Illinois, on September 4, 2004.  This website extends its condolences
to the Heighway family, and wishes them good luck and God's blessings
concerning the walk/run.

Here is Mr. Heighway's original letter, 9/10/03:

Dear Dennis Miller,
I just watched your appearance on Jay Leno 9/9/03. One of your 
masterful metaphoric musings was about the environment and how it's 
"lookin' good" and that people don't litter anymore, and we deserve 
credit for it's good shape. I think it was a thinly veiled attempt at 
defense of the Bush administrations environmental policies or lack 
thereof. I am a 51 year old man with a wife and 3 beautiful daughters, 
who has been battling Leukemia for 7 months now. By all doctors 
accounts, Leukemia is an "environmental" cancer. If your idea of 
environmental responsibility is people not littering, then you are 
either poorly read or immune to the problems. I only hope you get 
cancer from our pristine environment and then maybe your perspective 
will change. There are too many things I disagree with you on to go 
into here.Your right wing rhetoric has me sicker than I already was so 
at your suggestion "hey, get up and change the channel"! I will do so 
at every airing of your conservative comic crap.

Sincerely,
Thomas M. Heighway


****
THE VIEW OF DENNIS--7/30/04

Dennis Miller appeared on ABC-TV's The View this morning.  From The
View's website:

Friday, July 30th
Today Emmy Award-winning comedian Dennis Miller joined this 
morning's discussion to tell us about his brand new self-titled 
talk show. Dennis, who is probably America's most sarcastic 
conservative, brings a mix of comedy and politics to CNBC's prime 
time line-up. Be sure to check your local listings weeknights for 
Dennis Miller.

And today, someone fired me this Den-mail:

From Jeane:

Date: Fri, 30 Jul 2004 14:56:41 -0700 (PDT) 
Subject: The View Comment 
To: mnl_1221@yahoo.com 
    
cc:  Dennis Miller, IF he's not too much of a coward 
to read it.  

Well, Ladies of the View - 

A comment on your guest today, Dennis Miller:  As you
all do from time to time when you want to appear to be
"real" journalists, you asked him why he switched from
Democrat to Republican.  His answer was hogwash - and
a REAL journalist would have called him on it.  

Come on, Ladies - the REAL reason he switched is that
he was a washed-up has-been, with no regular income,
just occasional appearances on HBO and elsewhere.  

Combine that with his innate bitter, angry
misanthropy, and you have another paid mouth for the
Republican party.  Voila!  He was ripe for the buying
- and the Republican party bought his mouth and gave
him his own show.  So long as he keeps up his Rush
Limbaugh wannabe act, they - the Republican Party -
will give him an easy, cheating way to earn his
living.  

How satisfying for him!  To have an outlet for his
overflowing internal venom, and get PAID to spew it!  

Thus he joined the swelling ranks of Republican
toadies, venting their spleen on any who don't exactly
see eye to eye with their bible-banging, world-is-flat
rhetoric.  These are no better than the illiterate,
narrow-minded village mullahs of Islam, beating down
anyone who might have an original thought or feeling
or idea that is DIFFERENT from theirs.  

Such is the meat and potatoes of the Republican party;
through the ill will of the Dennis Millers, Bill O'.
Reillys, Rush Limgaughs (by the way, what's the
status, all you JOURNALISTS, of that druggie's case?),
Joe Scarboroughs, et al of the Republican world.    

Thank Heavens HELP IS ON THE WAY!  

MNL's comment: the theory of Dennis' venom is a valid one; he is
one angry person.  (So am I, these days.)  Also, I sadly acknowledge
the "Christian" nutjobs who give Jesus, the Bible, and Christianity
a bad name.  Please don't confuse Jesus and his message with them.
I'm not saying that some of these "nutjobs" aren't truly Christians--
I'm saying they don't always act it.

****
BUZZFLASH NAMES DENNIS MILLER "GOP HYPOCRITE OF THE WEEK"--7/29/04
(plus some Den-mail!)

Continuing in the Whoopi, Dennis! mode:

July 24, 2004
GOP Hypocrite of the Week: Dennis Miller: A BUZZFLASH EDITORIAL
excerpt:

As a July 16th Pittsburgh Gazette column noted, "A week ago, 
Whoopi stood on the stage of Radio City Music Hall sipping wine 
and making unflattering comparisons between her genitalia and 
President Bush. Puerile sexual humor bores me silly, but, hey, 
lots of Democrats and Republicans seem to like it. Castle 
Shannon native turned conservative comic Dennis Miller is 
particularly adept at it, though he's typically not as funny 
as Whoopi." 

Ouch, Dennis, you're being dissed as a second-rate vulgarian. 
But Dennis still has his job and his endorsements, right? 

We realize that a has-been like Dennis Miller has nowhere to go 
in his career except by latching onto the fender of the Republican 
Party. Heck, Miller's fellow entertainer warming up the crowd for 
Bush in Wisconsin was Wayne Newton. That should tell you how far 
Miller has fallen.

For more Internet webpages about GOP outrage over Whoopi while they
feel fine using Dennis, enter "Whoopi Goldberg" "Dennis Miller" into
Yahoo! or Google or other search engine.  Some of the webpages I've
refered to here have their own additional links.

Now for some Den-mail:

Subject: Yikes!!!! 
Date: Wed, 21 Jul 2004 17:38:51 -0600 
    
 Hello Dennis, Could you or one of those lame military guest 
that you have on your show, please pick up a world history 
book. NOT an American embellished book, and read about the 
liberation of Europe from WWII, because unfortunately every 
time you or one of those "good ol boys" say that "if it wasn't 
for us the French would be speaking German" your true ignorance 
really shows through. Heck! or better yet...go to Europe an see 
for yourself, and don't forget your maple leaf on your luggage, 
that way you'll get some Respect when your over there.
        Still  luv ya because everybody has an opinion,
           M Ahern
   P.S. I KNOW....the truth hurts


From "toys":
Subject: Hummus 
Date: Thu, 22 Jul 2004 23:19:00 -0400 
    
dear dennis,make it easier to e-mail ,like at the beginning,DUHH: 
let`s HUMMISIDE the living creatures who may consume HUMMUS

MNL's note: Say WHAT?


Subject: Dennis Miller 
Date: Sun, 25 Jul 2004 01:55:16 -0400 
    
Dear Mr Miller;
 
   You know you used to be funny, but do you know why? It 
was because you had objectivity. You had the ability to make 
fun of both sides of the American political duality. This is 
why The Daily Show is funny. Yes, Jon Stewart makes it clear 
that he leans to the left but he doesn't beat the audience 
over the head with it. That would be boring. He makes both 
sides look rediculous.
   However I can understand why it's so hard for you to make 
fun of the right. You'd have to take your lips off of George 
Bush's a** first before you could make a joke about him.
 
   Sincerely, 
   Christian Christian


Date: Wed, 28 Jul 2004 16:26:15 EDT 
Subject: what about free speech? 
To: mnl_1221@yahoo.com 
    
I wish Dick Cheney would have 3 words with you!
LBC
Or Teresa Heinz-Kerry two!

I asked LBC to specify if he (she?) was referring to my 
Miller website or another, and he wrote back:

Date: Wed, 28 Jul 2004 21:03:10 EDT 
Subject:  Re: what about free speech? 
To: mnl_1221@yahoo.com 

yes, dennis miller, and your websites attempt to have his show 
taken of fthe air, your free speech is  assured, despite Elton 
John's fretting, but what about his?
 
Les
jpeg: two out of three of these people should be in the White House
[photo labeled CharlieDanielsDevil_Me.jpg, too big to copy here]

I wrote back:

Date: Wed, 28 Jul 2004 19:21:03 -0700 (PDT) 
From: mnl_1221@yahoo.com 
Subject: Re: what about free speech? 

Dear Les:

Thanks for clarifying.  Now please show me where in
my website I'm attempting to have Dennis' show 
removed from the air.  Yes, I'm criticizing him,
but criticism isn't the same as censorship.  Yet,
if I had tried to get his show removed and I've
forgotten I have, please show me where.  Thanks.

Melanie

I await his reply.

****
WHOOPI, DENNIS! CONTINUED--7/28/04

As I said yesterday, I'm glad I'm not the only person in the USA
who's noticed the double standard: Whoopi Goldberg loses Slimfast,
Dennis keeps his jobs.  Why, George W. Bush himself, on 7/14/04 in
"suburban Milwaukee" according to the NY Daily News, commented on
how celebs like Whoopi were examples of Kerry's lack of values:

"The other day, my opponent said that a bunch of entertainers 
from Hollywood conveyed the heart and soul of America," Bush 
said, making reference to the New York fund-raiser.  "I believe 
the heart and soul of America is found in places in Wisconsin." 

Same day, same Wisconsin--same event?!--Bush used our dear, often
R-rated Dennis to open for him at a fund-raiser--the same Dennis
who loves the F word (though probably not in front of Bush, or
rather, Bush-rallies), called former President Carter a "pr**k", and
called upon someone who hears an anti-war protester compare Bush to
Hitler to "forget peace and beat his a**."  Did Bush speak his
value-laden words after Miller warmed up for him?

In the musical Camelot, Mordred sang, "Fidelity is only for your 
mate."  Apparently, from some rightists' points-of-view, standards
are only for your opponents.

So let's look at what some other writers say about why Whoopi didn't  
dodge the bullet and Dennis doesn't even get shot at:

Media Matters for America quotes Paul Begala of CNN's Crossfire:

BEGALA: I think it's an interesting example of the double standard 
in the media. Whoopi Goldberg apparently told some jokes people 
didn't like. I didn't hear them, don't even know what they are and 
everybody got their panties in a wad and here's this big corporation 
fires her. Meanwhile yesterday, Dennis Miller at a Bush rally 
basically implies that John Edwards and John Kerry are gay, then 
attacks my pal James Carville for the way that he looks and nobody 
says anything. I doubt CNN has even covered that story today at all. 
So why is it that a liberal comedian can make fun of President Bush, 
but she gets fired from her job? A conservative comedian makes really 
nasty sexual innuendoes about Kerry and Edwards and nobody says 
anything. So it's a double standard.
Media Matters for America: Cable coverage of Whoopi Goldberg's v. Dennis Miller's remarks: 19-2



Republicans' loud objections to Democrats ridiculing the president 
apparently should not be construed to mean that they object to name-calling. 

On the campaign trail Wednesday, comedian Dennis Miller was on hand 
in Green Bay, Wisconsin, to warm up the crowd before an appearance 
by President Bush. 

Miller, who like Goldberg is well-known for both strong opinions 
and verbally coloring outside the lines, slammed Kerry as a serial 
position-changer. If the senator's "core beliefs vacillate any more," 
said Miller, "he's going to have to get an OnStar button installed in 
the middle of his forehead." 

Miller then lit into other prominent Democrats, calling 46-year 
veteran Senator Robert Byrd "off his gourd" and zinging "My Life" 
author Bill Clinton by saying getting the former president to write 
an honest book "is like asking Britney Spears to sing a cappella." 

CBSnews.com: Slim-Fast Trims Whoopi From Ads

****

WHOOPI, DENNIS!--7/27/04

The very day New York Newsday printed an edited version of my
Goldberg vs. Miller diatribe, Dennis Miller was whoopin' it up
again at a Bush fundraiser.  First, here's what Newsday printed:

Wednesday, July 14, 2004 
Foul mouth

So Republicans are citing Whoopi Goldberg's off-color 
remarks at a Kerry/Edwards fund-raiser as proof of the 
Democrats' lack of values ["Camp steers clear of barbs," 
News, July 10]. Didn't some Republicans in 2003 practically 
beg oft-foul-mouthed comedian Dennis Miller to run for U.S. 
senator from California against Barbara Boxer? Didn't Miller 
ride on Air Force One with George W. Bush and perform at Bush 
fund-raisers? 

Can you say "hypocritical," or doesn't the GOP's right hand 
know what the ultra-right hand is doing?


Now I'm glad to find out that I'm not the only one who noticed the
double standard working here.  Even Miller himself hinted at it at
that July 14 fundraiser.  From the July 15 New York Post:

Miller also evoked the memory of Whoopi Goldberg's X-rated 
anti-Bush rant last week. 

"I couldn't let Whoopi Goldberg have all the fun," the comic 
told the crowd, adding that in deference to the president, 
he'd "try not to fall to the depths that some would" and said 
Kerry is "a good man."

I could imagine some GOP handlers warning Miller before the fund-
raiser: "Please, don't give us any 'comparisons'!"  I've read that
among Miller's jokes was one similar to Jay Leno's about Kerry and
Edwards' hugging: "Get a room!"

Now is anyone going to run a campaign to get Miller fired from his
job as a radio and print-ad spokesman for Direct TV?  I'm not
suggesting we start such a campaign.  Right now this keeps running
through my mind: "Blessed are the peacemakers."  What should a
peacemaker do over a situation like this?

My time's running out, so I'll post some links to others' comments
about Goldberg and Miller later on.  I'll also post some Den-mail
I've received recently.

****
I'LL SEE YOUR WHOOPI AND RAISE YOU ONE DENNIS--7/11/04

Boy, are the Republicans quick to criticize the Dems over
Whoopi Goldberg's risque remarks at a Kerry fundraiser!
I fired off this letter to the local paper:

So Republicans are citing Whoopi Goldberg's 
off-color remarks at a Kerry/Edwards fundraiser
as proof of the Democrats' lack of values.  Didn't
some Republicans in 2003 practically beg oft-foul-
mouthed comedian Dennis Miller to run for US Senator 
from California against Barbara Boxer?  Didn't Miller 
ride on Air Force One with George W. Bush and perform 
at Bush fundraisers?  Can you say "hypocritical"?  Or 
doesn't the GOP's right hand know what the ultra-
right hand is doing?

Miller's recent remarks include calling former 
President Jimmy Carter a "pr**k", and suggesting 
if you see a peace protestor carrying a sign 
comparing Bush to Hitler, "forget peace and beat 
his a**."  Do values only apply when Republicans 
are attacked?

If anyone knows how or if Dennis reacted to the Whoopi flack, please
let me know!

****
MORE DEN-MAIL--7/6/04

Dennis appeared at Westbury Music Fair June 27.  I didn't go, but
this one did:

Subject: Letter to Dennis 
Date: Mon, 28 Jun 2004 12:30:06 -0400 
    
Dennis -

You were ABSOULTELY FAN F*CKINGTASTIC at your show last night at 
Westbury Music Fair. 
Afterwards, on our way out we went to the Ladies' Room, where 
everyone was talking about how you should totally run for President. 

Maria R. Castelli
E Commerce Group			
E Commerce Group is the maker of Speedpay® and Lawcomm®
http://www.ecommercegroup.com


More mail:

Sent: Friday, June 18, 2004 11:38 AM
Subject: Hello Mr Miller

Hi Denny,
 
    When did you become Rush Limbaugh?  Ok, we all know - as soon 
as you were offered a deal - any deal - in a time when your career 
had down the crapper.  Here's the problem Dennis - your new show 
sucks as much as your previous on HBO - only this time you are less 
funny - if that's possible.  When your cnbc show goes DOA what 
political affiliation will you try next - you sucked as a liberal, 
you suck even more as a republican puke, I guess you could try the 
friggin' Green Party.  Suggestion: When you sell your soul next 
time - try to be at least a LITTLE subtle about it -then maybe 
stupid people won't notice.  But with your ham handed in-your-face 
about face turn into Bush madness even idiots know you are full of 
sh**.
 
Will Landstrom 


Subject: Maybe it was in Feldo? 
Date: Wed, 28 Apr 2004 01:32:53 -0400 
    
Maybe the magic that is missing in Miller is in part due to the 
absence of the Feldman(n) duo of David Feldman and Eddie Feldmann 
as writers and executive or co-executive producers of Miller's 
previous hit 'Dennis Miller Live' on HBO.

While there were many talented people involved I know first hand 
of David Feldman's work prior to DML in San Francisco and as a 
guest on former San Francisco DJ Alex Bennett's radio programs 
across several radio stations as well as by second-hand knowledge 
from trusted sources from his various gigs in the SF Bay Area 
(wherefor art thou Feldo?)

With every acerbic breath from Miller I could feel Feldman's 
presence lurking in the background -- even with the jokes that 
bombed (Dennis, always willing to give credit to Feldman on-air 
for those -- how's that for team spirit?) or so were thought to 
(I got them).

Even though I don't know what Feldman is up to, (I hope doing 
well) not seeing him take the icey plunge into the ultimate 
corporate abyss of Fox is somewhat comforting.

Atleast I can still listen/see Will Durst and know that _real_ 
political satire is still roaming free on the plains of the 
intellectual wastelands...

Quidam


****
DENNIS HIGH ON COMEDY CENTRAL'S LIST--5/10/04

Congratulations to Dennis for being named #21 on Comedy Central's
Greatest 100 Stand-Ups list.  I don't know if Miller's political
turn around made any difference at all, for better or for worse,
but of course he does have a 20 year or so track record!

Comedy Central's 100 Greatest Stand-Ups of All Time
21. Dennis Miller

****
SONGS FOR DENNIS; MORE DEN-MAIL; BIANCULLI UPDATES HIS REVIEW--3/30/04

If you think I overlooked the debacle between Dennis Miller and Elton
John back in November 2003--look at this:

"Dennis and the Right"
parody by me of Elton John's "Bennie and the Jets"
at the website Am I Right?

And another parodist has chimed in as of March 2004:

"(Dennis) Miller"
parody by Jay W of Eric Clapton's/Derek and the Dominoes' "Layla"
at Am I Right?


also, more Den-mail:

**
From: "JOHN" 
To: mnl_1221@yahoo.com 
Subject: Dennis Miller Show 
Date: Wed, 24 Mar 2004 17:43:04 
New to watching the show. I like it! Gosh, am I a moron 
because I can listen to BOTH political sides and not need 
to call the President, "stupid" or insult Dennis Miller 
for his political ideas? When do the "17 enlightened" on 
the feedback chain begin to change the channel or listen 
to what is being said? I love the humor! Think his 
interviews ask the questions nobody else is asking..
what's the problem? By the way, we ARE at war and should 
be Americans thinking about what is best for the nation 
as a whole. I believe Dennis is attempting to get us all 
to think. 
**

John, I don't think you're a moron for listening to both sides of an
argument.  I just wish Dennis could still do that.


Also, David Bianculli of the New York Daily News has updated his 
evaluation of Dennis Miller's CNBC show: better, but not quite there 
yet--and nowhere near as funny as Bill Maher's "Real Time".


Not Quite Miller Time
by David Bianculli, New York Daily News, 3/23/04

****
DENNIS HITS THE DECK!--3/23/04

I knew Dennis would earn this "honor" someday!  He's the 7 of Spades
on the deck "GOP Most Wanted", courtesy of www.internetweekly.org.
He's depicted under the "POX News Network" logo, with red Nazi flags
in the background.  The text says:

Dennis Miller
Former SNL "Comedian",
Bush Toady, Brownshirt Wannabe,
Monday Night Football Git, Sold His
Soul To Al Michaels and Roger Ailes,
Has a Major Crush on John Ashcroft.

Card is available overseas; no one in the USA has the courage to 
print it!

****
DENNIS RATES A MEET-UP!--3/15/04 (Note: March NYC meetup cancelled)

A meet-up is an Internet movement where fans of a certain interest
can meet locally at designated places.  The next scheduled Dennis
Miller meet-up is Wednesday, March 24, 7pm (fourth Wednesday of
every month).  (The NYC meetup in March is cancelled.  Watch
for others to come!--MNL)

Go here for location and
other details, and to sign up for updates.

Congrats, Dennis; you're an event!

****
A KUDO FOR DENNIS, VIA E-MAIL--3/15/04

Beware the Ides of March, indeed!


Date: Sat, 13 Mar 2004  
From:  "sean" 
Subject: Thanks Dennis 
To: mnl_1221@yahoo.com

Mr. Miller, I am a fan of both your SNL work and an
even bigger fan of your current work.  The people on
this stupid site, which I can't believe I'm even
wasting my time writing back to, are so small minded
that they cannot accept any conservative viewpoint
that is the least bit entertaining.  Basically, they
can't take a joke if it's about their side.  You,
however, have proven yourself to be a true independent
thinker, able to speak your mind regardless of some
political ideology.  You, and your CNBC show are a
breath of fresh air.  Bill Maher and Jon Stewart, who
buy and promote the anti-Bush line so blindly, pat
themselves on the back for being original, when there
is nothing original about them at all. 90% of media is
liberal, and conservative arguments have been 90%
un-funny until you came along.  And, even while I
agree with most of what you say now, It wouldn't
suprise me If I disagreed with you 5 years from now. 
But I will still love what you do and how you do it,
unlike Maher and Stewart, who cannot ever wish to be
as intelligent, original, or entertaining as yourself.
 Also, with the studio audience and some re-tooling,
the show is better than ever.  Thanks.


****
DOONESBURY'S GARRY TRUDEAU WEIGHS IN--3/10/04

"In my business, Bush is the gold standard," says political 
cartoonist Garry Trudeau, who regularly skewers the president 
in his Doonesbury comic strip. "We'd be crushed if he lost." 

His belief is that comedians on the left who crack jokes about 
the right have it easier right now than their counterparts on 
the other side of the aisle. "That's why Dennis Miller has had 
trouble getting a little traction," Trudeau says, referring to 
the recent convert to conservatism and his new MSNBC nightly 
cable show. "What's he going to do? Go after the Democrats? 
They're not in power. They're so not screwing up the world the 
way the Republicans are."

Yahoo! News: Candidates both good for a laugh
By Ann Oldenburg, USA TODAY, March 9, 2004


And from L.A. Weekly, via Yahoo! News:

Miller's Crossing - Can a pro-Bush comedian get laughs?   
By Brendan Bernhard, LA Weekly Writer, March 5, 2004 


****
TV GUIDE DISSES DENNIS--3/4/04

The March 6, 2004 TV Guide Cheers and Jeers disses Dennis for his
"excruciating" CNBC show.  Has any professional reviewer at all
given Den's latest show the thumbs-up?

Another TV Guide article two weeks ago featured Miller in a quiz
about who said what.


****
AND EVEN MORE DEN-MAIL--2/23/04

Date: Mon, 16 Feb 2004 01:19:09 EST 
Subject: What happend to you Dennis Miller? 
To: mnl_1221@yahoo.com 
      
Alright!

I'm glad to see that I'm not the only one who's disappointed 
with Dennis Miller.

When I heard about the cable show on CNBC, I was excited 
about it.  Now, I prefer to watch wet paint dry.

Dude!  Dennis, I used to love your edgy show on HBO where 
you slammed everyone.  You were yourself.  You made everyone 
laugh out loud.  It was great writing!  Great rants!

What happend?

Now that John Stewart took control of his show, he's been 
inspired by to be just as smart-alecky as you used to be.  
And decided to screw what others were telling him and is 
being himself.

Then, there is Bill Maher, the other colorful guy who knows 
how to make you think.  He is doing what you used to do....
good questions, good interviews, with hosts that have great 
personalities....and are interesting.

I mean, it's all right to have a guest panel of intellectual 
people, but its sooo dry and soo boring.  It's like being in 
a college class where the professor tries to be a know it all 
but he ends up looking foolish in front of the others.

What happend to be yourself, like duh?  Quotes MTV.

Its like you went backwards!  You went from being yourself to 
being like everyone else.  If that's not a sell-out, I don't 
know what the hell it is.

If I were you, Id check your priorities.

Just because you are friends with the head honcho doesn't mean 
you agree with all he says...that hancho being our lovely 
president of the US of A?

IBut thn again, have you reached that low too?

DUDE, wake up!

All of your fans are alienated!!!!!!

You were the inspiration for all the cable Ranting and Ravings, 
and the mater...has the master forgotten his students??

From a soon-to-be-ex-fan,

Sue

****
ANOTHER WELL-REASONED REVIEW--2/15/04

Though not a big fan of Miller, the keeper of the blog What Do I Know? 
was hoping for good things from the new show.  Here's an excerpt from the review:

Done well, the show could be CNBC’s own “Daily Show” of political 
comedy, commentary, and interviews. Now, perhaps Miller had opening 
night jitters (he seemed parched, pale, and off tempo), but the 
problems with his new show go much deeper. For one, the format is 
basically a retread of his cancelled HBO show. 

...Miller has never been a favorite of mine, but he’s obviously a 
witty, talented commentator who relishes in torching the rich, the 
powerful, and the insipid. But what’s so utterly disappointing about 
his CNBC venture is the total lack of original thinking. ...Perhaps 
his show will find new legs and grow into something unique, but after 
last night I doubt I’ll be tuning in again anytime soon.

****

A BIBLICAL NOTE, AND MORE DEN-MAIL--2/14/04

Happy V-Day, y'all.  If you haven't received a Valentine yet--send one!
"Make someone happy," as the song says.  Send one to yourself, your
family, your friends, a special someone you like (be subtle, please),
or even a favorite celeb.  (No, Dennis, I'm not sending you one!) 

I was perusing through Acts 17, when I noticed that this chapter of 
the Bible contains the name Dionysius, an early form of Dennis.
How fitting, because, as a creative artist, I love how Paul, in 
spite of his upset over the Greek idols, find something in the 
Athenian culture to praise and to note, and to use to introduce the
people to Jesus.  Visual art: a plaque that says "To an Unknown God".
Poetry: Paul quotes a Greek poem that says "We, too, are his children."

As I wrote below, the name Dennis comes from Dionysus, the Greek 
god of wine, and Miller, of course, is one who grinds grain.
Hey--his name means bread and wine!

Now for some new e-mail.  BTW, when writing, please put some form
of Dennis' name in the heading.  Also, the signature you use at the
end of the e-mail will be the signature I'll copy here. If there's
no signature, I'll use part of your e-mail address, keeping your 
ID hidden,  of course.

**
Date: Fri, 13 Feb 2004 11:20:06 -0800 

Hello,
Thanks for an opportunity to express my views on Dennis Miller.
First of all, I've never enjoyed people who act is if they're 
smarter than everybody else.
Secondly, I read where Miller won't allow any jokes about the 
Bushes on his new show. Good heavens!!!! 
Thirdly, The guy just ain't very funny!!!
Finally, Dennis needs some new plugs. Those ones he's wearing 
are dreadful!!!!!
Vince Bruun, Los Angeles

**

Subject: Dennis Miller's show 
Date: Fri, 13 Feb 2004 11:52:08 -0800 

At times it is interesting to watch, sorta like the NASCAR 
races, expecting a crash. Best thing to do is to get rid of 
that Monkey...oh, and the Chimp ought to go too! 
RJT

**

Subject: Dennis Miller Show 
To: mnl_1221@yahoo.com 

Hey, it's only my humble opinion but...
 
How can Dennis Miller think his poor excuse of a show that 
features a co-hosting chimpanzee who has more wit and charm 
than he, be successful?
 
He should stick to  memorized, well prepared, short bites of 
written political, conservative humor for a bar and grill 
setting and leave the talk show interviewing for the 
professionals. CNBC wake up!!
Why do you think Dennis Miller was dumped years ago from doing 
an interview talk show, and more recently as a wannabe football 
commentator? 
Instead of mellowing like fine wine from his peak at Saturday 
Night Live years ago, he has evolved into Limburger cheese, 
ala Chubby Chase. 
Miller's self induced, "Holier than Thou" arrogance of denigrating 
profound guests, is a feeble attempt at elevating his low self-
esteem and poor self worth, in an atmosphere of heavy hitters.
His "Varsity Threesomes" and renown guests would be better served 
by the chimpanzee, but he's not in the actor's union.
My question is why CNBC is paying this rich, self absorbed, 
narcissistic, befuddled guy, who at best, takes up air space 
ranting about some restaurant that didn't jump to kiss his 
highness' @ss to find him some prawns to eat, when Thailand 
is available for him to perform.
 
Oh...and another thing:
 
Dennis Miller should be the poster boy for the need to have 
mandatory canned laughter to at least fill the silent voids 
between his "jokes." 
MSNBC's late (and great) news director maven, Jerry Nachman had 
it right, when he collaborated with the Bill Maher Show 
"Politically Incorrect" (on ABC).
It's never too early to show Dennis Miller the Phil Donahue Door 
of no return, while simultaneously opening the door of fresh air, 
for Bill Maher.
 
Rich Errera 

Note: Unlike Dennis Miller, Bill Maher on Politically Incorrect
had a studio audience.  I was there when PI came to NYC to tape 
two episodes in 1999.--MNL

****

ANOTHER OPEN LETTER TO DENNIS MILLER--2/11/04

This one's an entry in a blog, or a blog's MB:

http://www.livejournal.com/users/notgruntled/6687.html

Dated 1/27/04, Andy, aka "notgruntled", takes issue with Miller's 
comment about ink not drying on a politician's deal with the devil.

****
WHAT THE **** IS GOING ON WITH DENNIS' WEBSITE?--2/5/04

Listen--I'm not so constant nor neat with this website I have because
my computer access is limited.  I don't have a working computer at
home, and right now my access is limited due to extremely low funds.

Dennis, what's your excuse?

Right now his nonworking message board includes 20 registrants: 
three moderators and 17 "users", including me.  I'm thinking either
the website's runners are terribly overwhelmed, confused, or incompetent--
or that Dennis is afraid of how viewers on the MB will react to his show.

He might get more plusses than he thinks.  Some of the e-mail I'm
getting is egging him on.  The Houston Chronicle gave a lukewarm
review (as opposed to scathing reviews from the New York papers).

Another webpage talks about a possible conflict of interest with
Dennis' producers.

BTW, if you want to write to him or to CNBC, here are some addresses:

Dennis Miller
c/o CNBC
Dennis Miller Show
3000 West Alameda Avenue
Burbank, CA  91523

CNBC 
2200 Fletcher Avenue 
Fort Lee, NJ 07024 
Phone: 201-585-2622 
info@CNBC.com 

Now some e-mails I received re the CNBC show:

***
Subject: miller show 
Date: Fri, 30 Jan 2004 12:39:50 -0800 
Dennis, 
Delete the Wolf, the Chimp, and the scream box. 
Good luck with your show. 
--Friends from the frozen North.

Subject: Naomi 
Date: Wed, 28 Jan 2004 21:51:22 -0600 
Dennis, 
Really enjoy your new show.  
Please find someone to replace Naomi Wolf.  She is so bad! 
Never watched CNBC until your show started.
--Dave from Oklahoma City


From: Merrmade
Date: Wed, 28 Jan 2004 22:18:41 EST 
Subject: Dennis Miller 
Dennis,
I want you to succeed so badly. You are so worth listening to. 
I luvya so please consider my suggestions to improve your show:
     
Dump those clothes! Get into a turtleneck and jacket or anything 
less formal, but chuck that stiff-looking jacket and tie ..looks 
like you're in a straight jacket!
 
Change the background. Whoever silhouetted you against that murky 
blue background doesn't like you. All the colors surrounding you, 
the clothes you wear, fight you, say 'dark' and 'serious' when we 
want your special brand of enlightening entertainment.. And you're 
the best, such a treat after the current frothy formulated talk shows. 
     
Relax...the presentation comes across awkward like a high school 
play and it doesn't look like you're having a good time.
 
Move around. Turn your body when you talk to someone. Forget you're 
on tv. At least move your arms, hands, don't be afraid to smile and 
laugh when something's funny, including yourself. Enjoy yourself!

Take control; don't let multiple guests overtalk each other since 
no one gets heard that way, just a turn-off gobble, gobble, gobble.

Did you do anything right? Every moment was worth its weight in 
gold because it has substance, wit, a stimulant not an aphrodesiac. 
I just want it more appealing to Dennis Miller novitiates so your 
audience (and sponsors) grow and grow!

Date: Mon, 26 Jan 2004 10:53:35 EST 
Subject: Which one is the chimp...chump? 
Dennis Miller for Bush???? 
What has happened to our world? 

I used to think Dennis Miller was bold and unafraid. What 
did the Bush Georges have on you Dennis? 

No one in their right mind could possible think GW Bush 
intelligent enough to be president for another term. I 
guess wanting to make a buck has taken over your common CENTS.

Of course we will wait and see if GW steals this election too! 

I will not be tuning in...so not sorry Dennis. 

Sincerely,
Disappointed in Dennis Miller 
(hey, the chimp looks good though... 
ya know I don't think she likes Dennis either!)  

*** 
****
SOME ENCOURAGEMENT--1/29/04

This e-mail about the new Dennis Miller show came in, from "Merrmade".
However, this computer won't let me copy so I'll have to truncate her
advice to you.  Basically she says:

***
Dennis, I want you to succeed so badly.  You are so worth 
listening to.  I luyva so please consider my suggestions 
to improve the show.

Dump those clothes.  Wear a turtleneck or something less formal.

Change the background... from "murky blue" to something "enlightening".

Relax.

Move around.  Enjoy yourself!

Take control.  Don't let guest talk over each other.

Every moment was worth its weight in gold because it has substance,
wit, a stimulant instead of an aphrodisiac.
***

In yesterday's New York Daily News, David Bianculli gave Miller's 
show a star and a half, but said he could double that score with
some improvements:

Continue to voice, not hide, Miller's opinions.
Conduct interviews without becoming a toady.
Lose the chimp.
Sharpen or eliminate the visuals on the "Daily Rorschach".
Invite a few more onlookers into the studio.  (Have a studio audience.)
Last but not least: do the reading.  (Read that day's newspaper.)

Bianculli wants Miller's show to "find its level, and its true voice."
***

I've been wanting Miller to find his true voice for a year now.  About
a month or two ago I thought he may have.

Another e-mailer enjoyed the show, and objected to Naomi Wolf.

****

YOU IN TROUBLE, BOY, PART 2--1/28/04

I've only seen two positive reviews of Miller's new show--both from fans.

via e-mail:

***
Subject: Keep Ellen the Chimp, get rid of the Wollf!!! 
Date: Wed, 28 Jan 2004 10:33:12 
Dennis:  Luved your first show but I'm sure as hell hoping that Naomi 
is history.  She's obviously one of the Bush Haters and we don't even 
want to go their!!!  She is a Red and she even wore Red for cryin out 
loud.  I do like three conservatives against one liberal for a change 
tho....lol
Fred Smith, Reno, Nv
***

from a Yahoo! message board:

***
Great show, great guy, great fun
by: thedigitaljanitors  01/28/04 01:11 am
Msg: 1 of 12  
watch it, you just might learn something.
*** 

Now the review which this MB accompanied was a lot less complimentary:

***
TV Review: Dennis Miller   
Tue Jan 27,11:46 PM ET  
By Barry Garron

...The question overall is the standard to which Miller should be 
held. He asserts that he is a comedian, not a journalist, and for 
proof, he trots out a chimp who is to wear a T-shirt color-coded to 
match the day's security level. In reality, Miller strives for an 
impossible circus act, juggling his former credibility as an equal-
opportunity satirist and his new mission to praise that which is 
Republican. "Watch the show or I just might go back to football," 
he says in on-air promotions. And the harm in that would be ...? 
***

Even the reactionary New York Post gave it thumbs down:

***
UM, WHAT? 
By ADAM BUCKMAN 
January 28, 2004 -- HIS new show should be titled "From Here to 
Eternity with Dennis Miller" because that's what the debut hour felt 
like Monday night. 
I could not wait until this show was over - and that was just after 
the first six minutes. 

That's how long it took for Miller to deliver a rambling, artless 
preamble that seemed to be styled as some sort of mission statement. 

In it, he made a number of promises related to what he hopes his new 
CNBC talk show will achieve and then made good on none of them.
*** 
****

YOU IN TROUBLE, BOY.--1/27/04

Being cableless, I didn't see it myself, but if I can believe what
I've read so far on the Bill Maher message board, the premiere last
night of Dennis' new show was awful, awful, awful!  And boring!

Someone e-mailed and said that even the chimp didn't like Dennis.

I hope I can get someone to tape the show for me so I can judge for
myself (yes, I do have a VCR).  Meanwhile, I wonder what the 
professional reviewers will say over the next few days.

BTW, Dennis, get that website and message board fixed!  (The sample 
messages were wiped out several days ago, and there's no space for 
new entries yet.)  "Message-board" speaking, you can't keep parking 
on Bill Maher's couch forever!

****

WHAT DO YOU CALL A TOPICAL COMEDIAN WHO WON'T MAKE FUN
OF A SITTING PRESIDENT?--1/25/04

This from an article at Yahoo News:

Dennis Miller to Give Bush a Free Pass

Dennis Miller has usually been happy to spray his acerbic wit across 
the political spectrum, but things will be different on his new CNBC 
talk program. President Bush is in a mock-free zone.

"I like him," Miller explained. "I'm going to give him a pass. I take 
care of my friends."

And you call yourself a comedian?  A topical comedian not going after
the sitting president is like a top sprinter not going for the Olympics.  
You don't have to hate someone to rib him.

BTW, Dennis stated on his Friday night (1/23/04) appearance on Jay 
Leno that he and Bush are "not friends", though Miller does like him.

And here's an e-mail concerning that Leno appearance:

***
Subject: Dennis Miller & Bush 
Date: Sun, 25 Jan 2004 11:28:30 

So Dennis Miller is going to "sing Bush's praises" and have a 
monkey on his show?  Gee, if Bush makes a personal appearance 
with Dennis there will be TWO monkeys on the show -- or three?  
Maybe we should count Miller also.  Why do people think he is 
funny?  He is more of a "bad joke" so no wonder he is a Bushie.
--Patricia Ruch -- Oregon
*** 


Yet here's another observation by Miller on another Yahoo article:

"I can't tell you how many people would watch football and come 
up to me and tell me they dislike me, it was about equal to the 
amount who liked me," he said of his 2000-02 stint. "Oh, I see, they 
kind of like disliking you. Because it defines their parameters. 
Don't you watch somebody at home who bugs you once in a while? And 
you say, 'Why am I watching him?' Because they bug you and it makes 
you feel superior.

"The way I do it, everything I've ever done, there's 50 percent of 
the country (that) hates me and 50 percent likes me," he said. "When 
I was younger I used to rail against that. I wanted more to like me. 
Then I got older, (and) there's a real career to be made keeping it 
within one or two points of 50-50."
 

Ah, so there's career preservation in ticking people off! 

Actually, this makes sense to me.  I would've never started this
website if he hadn't ticked me off.

I just wish that once in a while he still dared to tick GWB off.

****


Recent articles:

Dennis Miller, Unbalanced: 
The comedian's new CNBC talk show will push his point of view
New York Newsday, 11/12/03

Dennis Miller Does CNBC, E!Online, 10/31/03

Miller Tweaks Liberals,
San Francisco Chronicle, 11/8/03

Comedian Dennis Miller isn't afraid to get political
CONTRA COSTA TIMES, 11/6/03


and another probing article asking "Why, Dennis, why?":


Right-wing ranter: Dennis Miller 

Miller time: Once a genuinely funny comedian, 
Dennis Miller has become a conservative shill
By Joshua Ellis, Las Vegas CityLife, 11/19/03


********

A warning for myself, Dennis, and anyone else 
caught up in the left-right battle:

The entire law is summed up in a single command: 
"Love your neighbor as yourself." 
If you keep on biting and devouring each other, 
watch out or you will be destroyed by each other. 
--Galatians 5:14-14 (NIV)

Judgment without mercy will be shown to anyone who 
has not been merciful. Mercy triumphs over judgment!
--from James 2:13 (NIV) 

Relevant quote:
"And if we decent, honest, hard-working, patriotic, true-blue 
conservatives of this country neglect the duty we have to our 
children and grandchildren, we will never be able to work with those 
decent, honest, hard-working, patriotic, true-blue liberal Americans 
that these lying creeps have taught us to despise."
--Becky Miller (I'm assuming she's not related), 
A conservative's review of Al Franken's 'Lies and the Lying Liars',
The Oregonian, 10/17/03
(Her "lying liars" include Bill Sizemore (her former boss),
Rush Limbaugh, Bill O'Reilly, Ann Coulter, and Sean Hannity.
This Miller hasn't switched sides--"I'm still a decent, honest, 
hard-working, patriotic, true-blue conservative"--but she has 
reached out.)


from www.bartcop.com

*****

He sows the wind, he reaps the whirlwind...
--adapted from Hosea 8:7

The Legend of Dennis Miller may be growing much larger than I or 
even he ever imagined--maybe to Huey Long or Machiavelli proportions?
Wow, how will this story end?  All kinds of response to him--from
ordinary Joes and Janes like you and me to GOP player makers--
are growing as big and unwieldy as this website!

Dennis, I'm practically your biographer!


RECENT UPDATES:

--OH, YOU BEAUTIFUL DOLL!
--DENNIS MILLER OFFICIAL WESBITE COMING SOON!

look below in Updates section!

**********

This website is now split into four different pages.

Click on Open Letters to Dennis Miller to read others' letters.
Click on Miller the Muse for fanfic, cartoons, poems, etc. (by me and others).
Click on The Attic for Miller news and features of the recent past.


To contribute your letter, e-mail me: mnl_1221@yahoo.com
or sign the guestbook below.

************************************************

IN THIS SITE:

--my original open letter to Dennis Miller, 4/7/03
--Miller Highlights (links to key articles)
--updates and addenda
--jokes, search engine, guestbook, e-mail address
--pictures
--further commentary, including Miller quotes
--links (including fan sites, news articles, opinions, fan fiction, poetry, skits)


In violent times, you shouldn't have to sell your soul.
--"Shout", Tears for Fears

TV Now: Dennis Miller
where he'll appear next on TV

BTW, Dennis, you need your own website!
I know dennismiller.com is taken by a guy who makes furniture, 
but that's no excuse!  And HBO ain't updating you anymore!
Get your own website!  Your fans await you.


photo from www.foxnews.com

**********************************************************************
Here's the original "open letter"; updates are below.


April 7, 2003

Dear Dennis, 

I used to admire you, Dennis Miller. I used to love watching you 
do Weekend Update on Saturday Night Live. If I had had cable, and 
if you hadn't used the F word every ten seconds, then I would have 
loved to watch your HBO show. And, I used to imagine, if they ever 
did a TV series about my church, I would have loved you to play 
my pastor--that is, if you could act well enough.

Then you turned reactionary.

Not just conservative. Reactionary.

I don't mind you turning conservative. You have just as much right 
to change your politics as Arianna Huffington has to change hers. 
(Truthfully, I don't know how conservative, liberal, or neutral you 
were before now. But you certainly were insightful. Very insightful.)

But I do mind the liberal-bashing. You can stand up for right-winged 
views without attacking liberals. 

Look at what I discovered on the Internet on March 26, 2003:

Dennis Miller Delivers Some More Anti-Liberal Jibes
(scroll down) 
5. Dennis Miller delivered some anti-liberal jibes on Tuesday's 
Tonight Show. Miller suggested Hussein's debate offer could 
“flush him out?so we can kill him and suggested: “If you're in 
a peace march and the guy next to you has a sign saying that 
'Bush is Hitler,' forget the peace thing for a second and 
beat his ass.? 
Excuse me, Dennis, but isn't that just what a Gestapo would do: 
beat to a pulp someone who disagreed with him?

I carried such a sign last March when I joined 
an anti-war protest and marched from Times Square to
Washington Square.  One side of my sign said, 
"THE MADNESS OF KING GEORGE", with side comments,
"USA SI, GWB NO" and "I WANT MY DEMOCRACY BACK!"
The other side said:
"BIG IRAQ ATTACK: CAN HITLER DRIVE OUT HITLER?"

So, Dennis, do you now plan to beat me to a pulp?

You have just declared yourself my enemy. Don't worry, though: 
the Bible says love your enemies, and pray for those who persecute you. 
I still love you.  I pray for you.

Dennis, you're one of the cutest guys in show business, and you 
used to be one of the most insightful. In some ways you still are. 
(Heck, I even watched an episode of Monday Night Football for you!) 
But your newfound hate is poisoning you. Please be careful. 
I miss what you used to be.

Dennis, do you even say, "Of course, that's just my opinion. I could be wrong," anymore?

Oh, you handsome, funny man--what happened to you? 
Or as they used to say, "Who piddled on your Post Toasties?"

With love and regret,

MNL_1221

**********************************************************************
KEY ARTICLES, OR MILLER HIGHLIGHTS
(he'll get that reference)



Dennis Match
By Rick Chandler 
Illustration by Brandon Bird
Las Vegas Weekly, 
July 10-16, 2003


from www.allhatnocattle.net


Hannity & Colmes, 
June 27, 2003: 
Miller Unplugged
Dennis' first rant on FOX NEWS channel

Miller's Crossing . . .to the right side of the political street
by Eric Pfeiffer
The Weekly Standard, July 28, 2003

IT ONLY HURTS WHEN I SIT DOWN
"by Dennis Miller" (yeah, right!)
from makethemaccountable.com

Dennis Miller, now a conservative commentator 
By Rick Chandler, Tahoe Daily Tribune sports columnist  
July 18, 2003 
(with reference to Miller's celebrity golfing)


OUT OF THE LOUPE
'Why Are We in Iraq?' 
Meet Norman Mailer, Third Cousin of the Rational Op-Ed.
BY DENNIS MILLER 
Monday, May 5, 2003 12:01 a.m. EDT 
(Dennis Miller's first newspaper column ever)


image from www.blacktable.com

THE MILLER'S CROSSING, by Rick Chandler, The Black Table
a Scrooge-like visit from the Ghost of Dennis Past


**********************************************************************

UPDATES:

11/5/03: OH, YOU BEAUTIFUL DOLL!

I could practically proclaim 2003 The Year of Dennis Miller.
Look at what's being showered upon him.

Let's see, a new website, a new show with CNBC, and now 
an action figure for a self-proclaimed "wuss".  
Courtesy of Talking Presidents, who is also releasing 
Ann Coulter, Donald Rumsfeld, and King George himself!

I told you the Legend of Dennis Miller is growing beyond 
my or his expectations.  What's next--an opera?

BTW, in a Mercury News interview 11/4/03, Miller proclaims, 
"On most things I'm liberal," citing "defending ourselves" 
and "keeping half the money" as key exceptions.  
He comes across as someone I can practically respect
--though, on some issues, strongly disagree with.


DENNIS MILLER WEBSITE COMING SOON!

Safesearching, host of many celebrity websites (including Bill Maher's),
annouces they will host a Dennis Miller website soon.
Official website, I hope.

After that happens, I expect I and the Bill Maher message board will
no longer be the main lighting rods for Dennis Miller raves and rants.
In the meantime, your comments are still welcome, of course.

Brace yourself, Dennis; you're in for a mighty ride!

********

11/3/03: Oh, no!  The dreaded "F" word!  Here it comes....
You're Fifty!  Fifty!  Ha-ha-ha! 50, 50, 50!
(text adapted from a Hallmark card)

Happy Birthday, Dennis! 

********

10/16/03: So what am I getting out of this website, aside from
adventures in self-expression?

Six months is a good milestone to step back and ask yourself
why you're doing what you're doing.  Now over these five years
on the Internet I've made websites to four celebrities--three of
them comedians.  Irene Cara I've admired since we were both
teenagers: she's multi-talented, multiracial like me, and at 
one time very determined.  She also fought for her rights against
the music industry, won, but was blackballed for it.  Phil Hartman:
his death hit me more deeply that I expected.  From him I learned
humility, service, and a version of keeping pure in an impure world.
From Bill Maher I learned courage, individuality, and insight.
Dennis Miller?  In spite of his current actions, in him, even
now, I see chutzpah (or hubris), perserverance, determination,
and extreme shrewdness.  Even Jesus praised a manager for being
shrewd, in spite of the fact the man was a cheat.

Another insight: I realize that in Miller's current actions 
I'm seeing "a person I admire who hates me."  Oh, I know he
doesn't--or didn't--know who I am, but he's actively hating
liberals, and by extension, those that liberals often defend:
the marginalized.  I'm a black female Northeastern artistic
intellectual and emotional type--not exactly the darling
of the far right.  My particular gifts are despised by them.
Yet, in church last Sunday, I heard a sermon which included 
the words, "Everything belongs to God, everything comes from
God, and everything is distributed by God."

Miller and I have different gifts--some that overlap--and
different issues--some that overlap.  Those gifts can be
ignored or developed, spent or misspent, appreciated or
despised.

***********************************************

Older entries have been moved to "the Attic".

***********************************************




Dennis Miller: Miller and cultural theorist Andrew Ross are both 
modern variants of the ancient archetype known as the trickster. 
Provocative and prophetic, the trickster pokes holes in the fabric 
of received wisdom and challenges our most revered assumptions. 
To dream of a trickster (other examples might include Penn & Teller, 
Frank Zappa or Al Roker) may indicate the need for a major life change.
http://www.echonyc.com/~ngraham/miller.html  



from www.bartcop.com



for sale at www.lasvegas-chips.com (click image)


For more Miller cartoons and photos, click here.


Too risque to copy, yet worth a look:
Sports Faculty: Dennis Miller learns the first rule of Monday Night Football
Vote Celebrity!: Senator Dennis Miller (Reform Party - Pennsylvania)
The Daily Probe: Dennis Miller's To-Do List, 3/5/2002


Dennis Miller is NOT to be confused with:
Denny Miller, aka Scott Miller, late of "Wagon Train".  
1950s-60s blond actor, played Tarzan once.  Later played Gorton's fisherman in TV ads. 
Many guest TV roles well into 1990s.
Denise Miller, 1970s-80s brunette teen actress, 
late of "Fish", "Archie Bunker's Place", and "Charles in Charge"; still acting today.






  


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Comments for me? Criticism? Death threats?
Especially if you're Dennis Miller, write:

mnl_1221@yahoo.com


doublethink
This blog features the article 
Dennis Miller is a Big, Fat, Whining, Two-Faced Has-Been

More on Miller (oo, this begs a pun!)

 


poster for sale at www.art.com 
(click picture)


On another disgruntled fan's website, Being Dennis Miller
(which the webmaster has stopped building due to his growing disappointment in the comedian),
I found on a related page, Dennis Miller's Sharp Turn to the Right.
The webmaster quotes some revealing quotes from Miller's rants of only a few years ago:

about liberalism:
The word "liberal" has replaced "Communist" as the red flag 
neo-conservatives wave in your face to denote what's wrong in 
this country. People are even making me out a liberal, when 
I'm actually a pragmatist, which means I think everybody is 
an a****** but me... 

With the threat of communism gone, the power elite no longer 
has to be on its best behavior. And right now, you have as 
good a chance of seeing tolerance from them as you do Newt 
Gingrich dirty dancing with Harvey Fierstein...

So, as far as the nuts-and-bolts legislative details are 
concerned, liberalism is probably dead, and it doesn't look 
like a whole lot of us are going to be at that wake. But 
when it comes to the ongoing battle over reshaping this 
ethereal thing we call the American spirit, well, liberalism 
had better be very much alive and breathing fire, or we have 
truly lost our way as a nation. 
--Dennis Miller


about activism:
And does activism even make a difference at the end of the day? 
Is there a happy ending? Well, hey, I'm one of the more 
pessimistic cats on the planet. I make Van Gogh look like a 
rodeo clown. And, with reluctance, I will say this- when you 
get involved, most probably, it'll suck at first. It'll be 
hard work with unclear results. But you know something? So what? 
That is life in all its glory. Life is not a movie. The right 
thing to do is simply get in the game. The price of apathy is 
too high to pay... remember "We Are the World?" You want to see 
Dan Aykroyd singin' again? If only to prevent something like that 
from ever, ever recurring, please- get up off your a**, put 
some... pants on and some undies, and do something.
--Dennis Miller


Ohhhhh...will the real Dennis Miller please come back?



STUFF FOR DENNIS TO RANT ABOUT:








From The Rational Radical's Weblog:

Saturday, March 15, 2003 
Arianna Huffington hit Dennis Miller with the best put-down line 
I've heard in ages. On Bill Maher's new HBO show, Miller was ranting 
and raving about the need to go to war with Iraq, etc etc. Huffington 
told him that if he kept defending Bush like that, he would become 
known as Bush's Sammy Davis, Jr. Miller looked devastated, and 
undoubtedly knows that this most unpleasant linkage may well stick 
with him.
Jack Clark 9:27 PM [+], Post #90792641 
http://www.therationalradical.com/blog.html

Ouch!--MNL


From Norman Mailer, out of the Wall Street Journal, letters page, May 8, 2003:

Dear Dennis,

Just because the two big guys who flanked you on 
Monday Night Football took away your b***s and left you 
with a giggle in replacement doesn't mean you have to 
suck up to The Wall Street Journal.
But thanks for appreciating my fine use of "keen."

Keen up, then, to my piece and read it again without panic.
You're too good to become squalid and kiss-a** for so little.

Cheers, blessings,
Norman Mailer 

**********************************************************************

Note: the name "Dennis" comes from Dionysus, the Greek god of wine.
"Miller", of course, is someone who grinds grain.  
Hey--his name means bread and wine!

This section is moved to here. 

Miller Time on the Internet